One Yoruba saying I really LOVE goes thus:
Gbogbo alangba lo da inu de ile. A ko mo eyi ti inu nrun.
Literal Translation:
Since all lizards go around with their stomachs on the ground, we cannot tell which one is suffering from stomach trouble.
Contextual Translation:
The fact that others are not screaming to your hearing about the challenges they are facing in their lives does NOT mean they have none. So stop thinking you are the only one with problems and that others are better off, or have no clue what you’re going through.
Quite often there will be some who not only know what you’re feeling, because they’ve been down that road before…
However even those persons may actually – at that point in time- be going through an even worse experience, but have TRAINED themselves to take it in their stride, and use it as a stepping stone to achieve their goal.
These thoughts often come to my mind every time I come across people who readily complain about their inability to have one or more things they want in life, and who choose to moan and complain about how unfair life is, INSTEAD of devoting intelligent, creative effort t think up viable ways to turn their circumstances around while seeking help from the Creator via prayer.
It has been my experience that those who complain in this manner the most, are often people who are actually situated in socioeconomic environments that afford them MUCH greater access to multiple comforts, conveniences and benefits.
In other words, these people are often living in more conducive circumstances compared to others who are NOT complaining.
I argue, and historical evidence abounds to back it up, that for every bad experience YOU find yourself having, someone out there will have gone through, or is currently going through something that is MUCH worse.
The fact that you may not be aware of it is no justification for you to assume it is not happening. Indeed, as I mentioned above, it could be happening to someone around you, that you see everyday, but s/he may choose to deal silently – and courageously – with it, instead of falling apart and burdening everyone around with the problem.
That is not to say one should not ask for help or support, or seek outlets for venting. That can be therapeutically beneficial at times.
What I am however against is adopting the disposition of a victim or trying to make yourself look like you’re suffering more than you should.
Like I always tell people I coach, you will NEVER be presented with a challenge in your life that will be beyond your ability to overcome it. All you need to do is harden your resolve and focus on finding a viable solution to the problem. That mind set will NEVER fail you.
But while you’re passing through that phase, the whole world need NOT know about it. They have their own problems to worry about – and to be honest, no one is likely to give you an award or pat on the back for knowing how to moan and complain about how badly life is treating you.
So, get real: Take a cue from the lizards mentioned in the Yoruba quote I began this piece with.
Choose to be discrete about how you share information about whatever you think your pains or difficulties are. You are better off working to eliminate them and THEN offering to share HOW you did it with others who may be facing similar issues.
That way you add VALUE to the world: which will make people want to have you around. No one wants a complainer for a friend. They may not say it, but they most certainly THINK IT!
I’ll end this piece by sharing a quote from Jim Rohn, which perfectly captures the mind set I always adopt in dealing with adversity, and which I recommend anyone one who wants to become UNSTOPPABLE adopt as well:
“Learn to hide your need from the world and show your skill.” – Jim Rohn
Simple and easy to remember isn’t it?
Yeah…but it is sooooo tough to apply.
Yet those who master the DOING of it end up with the uncanny ability of being UNSTOPPABLE.
That’s what I AM….
What will YOU be???
You’re reading Handle Your Problems Without Drama! by Tayo Solagbade, originally posted on his Daily Self-Development (SD) Nuggets™ blog. If you loved reading this post, be sure to follow Tayo on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.
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IMPORTANT NOTE:
On 4th May 2014, Tayo’s 9 year old domain (Spontaneousdevelopment dot com), was taken over by Aplus.net. Within a few days however, Tayo used his advanced self-taught web development skills to build (and move his website contents into) a SUPERIOR “reincarnation” at http://www.tayosolagbade.com.
Most URLs bearing the old domain name appearing in search engines should now work if “spontaneousdevelopment.com” is replaced with “tayosolagbade.com”. If you experience any difficulties finding a page or document, email Tayo at tksola dot com.
Click “Tayo, What Happened to SpontaneousDevelopmentDotCom?” to read a detailed narrative about how the above event occurred :-))
Here’s an article Tayo wrote, to inspire others to defy adversity, and bounce back to even greater reckoning at what they do EVERY time:
Succeed by Emerging from Adversity Like a Phoenix (TayoSolagbade.com launches extra Hosting plan with FREE Web Marketing!)
And he wrote the one below, to explain why losing a domain name, no matter how old NO LONGER determines your online success or otherwise:
A Proven Strategy to Find Profitable Buyers Regardless of Your Domain Name
Source: ExcelVB
