PII 044: Successfully Influencing A Difficult Co-Worker, Colleague or Partner

[Tip: This “content-repurposed” write-up was first published on Monday 16th July 2012 via spontaneousdevelopment.com (my 9 year old former website – defunct since 2014]

In order to work with anyone successfully, you have to speak with him/her. But sometimes that can be easier said than done, because the person we have to work (and speak) with, could have a reputation for being “difficult”. Or he could be somone you do not like or get along with.

How you handle that situation when it does occur, can be a crucial determinant of your success (or otherwise) in the workplace.

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Tayo Solagbade's Performance Improvement IDEAS(PI Squared) Newsletter

Tayo Solagbade’s
Performance Improvement
IDEAS
(PI Squared) Newsletter

Monday 12th December 2016

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NB: This PI Squared newsletter will be published weekly, on Mondays, in place of the Speaking/Web Marketing IDEAS newsletter, starting from today – 15th February 2016.
I’m reinventing my Monday newsletter content and theme, to accommodate my vision of serving the growing audience of serious minded individuals and organizations reaching out to me, with information, education. news and research findings designed to help them do what they do better.

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View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

PII 044: Successfully Influencing A Difficult Co-Worker, Colleague or Partner

[Tip: This “content-repurposed” write-up was first published on Monday 16th July 2012 via spontaneousdevelopment.com (my 9 year old former website – defunct since 2014]

In order to work with anyone successfully, you have to speak with him/her. But sometimes that can be easier said than done, because the person we have to work (and speak) with, could have a reputation for being “difficult”. Or he could be somone you do not like or get along with. How you handle that situation when it does occur, can be a crucial determinant of your success (or otherwise) in the workplace.

We all know the type (and some of us are like that). The ones who are unable to get through a day at work without getting into some conflict with a colleague, or even the boss. The kind who seem to take ready offence at anything that’s said to (or about) them.

Sometimes these individuals are competent and make valuable contributions in the workplace. However their abrasive dispositions could make them relatively unpopular with colleagues. As a result, outside work related situations which force co-workers to be with them, they usually tend to get left alone.

What If You Get Assigned To Work With One ?

There is a real possibility of this happening. And except you have plans to leave that job anytime soon, you’ll want to find an effective way to work successfully with that difficult person.

Refusing to do so, could jeopardize your career prospects. For instance, decision makers would doubt your ability to handle positions of higher responsibility, which require objectivity and interpersonal effectiveness.

A simple, easy and painless solution to this dilemma exists. I often tell people that I can work with the devil himself, if that is what it will take to get an important job I have in hand done successfully!

I say this based on concrete, and verifiable achievements I recorded during my time in paid employment. Starting as a graduate managment trainee in Guinness Nigeria, I gained rapid career advancement, up to senior management level by LEARNING to handle the few “devils” I came across.

I honestly believe you need to adopt a similar mental attitude too (The reference to the “devil” being – of course – figurative).

So Here’s What You Can Do, To Work Successfully With A Difficult Co-Worker:

1. Focus On The Job To Be Done:

For the period you have to work with this person, put aside (I did not say give up) your biases. Interact with him based on the issues arising from the work you have to do together.

2. Find Out What Makes Him/Her Tick:

With very few exceptions, all human beings, no matter how difficult or unpleasant they may be, will have certain things they love or that gives them pleasure. Find out what it is (or they are). This may not be easy. But it could be worthwhile. If you can find a way to identify what brings out this person’s good (or better) side, you can use that insight to achieve a better working relationship with him.

3. Speak/Act With Emotional Intelligence:

An emotionally intelligent person demonstrates empathy in her interactions with others. She is sensitive to the feelings of others, but will at the same time not hesitate to act assertively in dealing with abusive or duplicitous behaviour.

Right from the time you meet him, resolve to speak and act with active consideration for his perspective. Make it clear by your words and actions that you respect him, and will do nothing to undermine him.

Gently try to establish what concerns and preferences s/he may have regaring the work to be done. Try to put them into consideration when you interact with him/her subsequently. Make friendly conversation as often as possible – except s/he stops you.

Stay alert to opportunities that will present themselves, to gain his trust or win his confidence. Sometimes people like this will warm up to someone who demonstrates a level of competence they appreciate. When this happens, be sure to tactfully offer praise for his own demonstrated abilities where possible. Avoid being patronizing though.

Most importantly, stay away from individuals or groups who may try to start unflattering conversation about the difficult co-worker you have to work with, even if the latter is not present. It does not benefit you in any way, and will only endager the relationship/rapport you’re working hard to build.

4. Support Unconditionally, But Demand Commitment:

Give your unreserved, active and positive cooperation towards getting the job done with your difficult partner. However, it’s important to send out a clear message that you expect him to reciprocate.

Therefore, do NOT hesitate to call him to order if he fails to play his part with the required commitment.

Once the project has been successfully completed, you can go back, and “pick up” your biases and reservations about him again.

I would however say, from personal experience, that if you apply the above suggestions diligently, you’re likely to establish a decent level of understanding, with him, that your colleagues will not have. And this could help you maintain a friendly or mutually respectful relationship for the long term.

Master This Strategy, And Your Career Advancement Prospects Will Blossom!

If you make a success of working with difficult co-workers, as the need may arise, you’ll be living up to your commitment as an employee, to give your service to the level that justifies the salary you get paid.

But even more importantly, decision makers would consider you capable of adapting your communication style to influence those you lead, in order to achieve your workplace goal. And that’s an attribute required for success in managing people. If/when they have to pick someone for promotion (or to lead others) therefore, your name would tend to come up for consideration. It’ll only be a matter of time, before you get chosen.

TIP:

On a final note, when next you meet (or get told about) a “difficult” co-worker (or boss), try getting some “practice” in handling difficult people, by using the ideas proposed in this article, in relating with him/her. You’ll come away better prepared for the day when you actually get “assigned” to do the real thing. Goodluck!

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SDN Blog™

New posts from last week*

Monday:

[Tuesday]:

[Wednesday]:

[Thursday]:

[Friday]:

FREE Download Gifts from TayoSolagbade.com for Farm CEOs and Others

[Saturday]:

Formulating Livestock Rations by Adjusting for Dilution Effect of Non-Protein Contributing Ingredients [True Story: Helping a Farm CEO Client Understand the Thinking Required]

[Sunday]:

Why You Now Need to Exercise Caution in Accepting Invitations to Attend “Large-Crowd” Religious Functions in Nigeria [Feature News Report = Bloody Saturday In A/Ibom: 200 Worshippers Dead After Church Collapses, How Governor Escaped Death By A Whisker]

Protected: THE FARM CEO (Issue 68): Innovative feed formulation methods reduce feed cost, Practical Ideas to Address High Feed and Production Costs, Developments in the Indian feed and poultry industry and formulation of rations based on local resources – Dr.V.Balakrishnan, Opportunities to improve feeding precision and reduce costs with the latest NIR technology to be presented at Bangkok conference

[Excel Heaven Tutorial 06] Using The Macro Recorder to Learn Basic Excel-VB Coding – Recording a Macro and Viewing/Interpreting the Excel-VB Code in the Visual Basic Editor Interface

Tayo K. Solagbade*

Self-Development/Performance Improvement Specialist

*Best Practice Farm Business Support Specialist & Founder of the MS Excel Heaven Visual Basic Automation Club and Competition

Mobile: +234-803-302-1263 (in Nigeria) or +229-66-122-136 (in Benin Republic)

http://www.tayosolagbade.com

Tayo K. Solagbade is a Location Independent Performance Improvement

Specialist and Multipreneur (i.e. a highly versatile/multi-skilled entrepreneur), with a bias for delivering Best Practice solutions to Farm Businesses and others.

Since 2002, he has earned multiple streams of income providing individuals and organizations with personal development training and coaching, custom MS Excel-VB solutions, web marketing systems/web hosting, freelance writing services, and best practice extension support services (for farm business owners).

Tayo is the author of the Self-Development (SD) Bible™ and the popular Livestock Feed Formulation Handbook. He is also the developer of its accompanying Excel-VB driven Ration Formulator™ and the Poultry Farm Manager™ software.

He has delivered talks/papers to audiences in various groups and organizations, including the Centre for Management Development, University of Lagos, Christ Baptist Church, Volunteer Corps, Tantalisers Fast Foods and others.

In May 2012 he was the Guest Speaker at the Centre for Entrepreneurship Development’s Annual Semester Entrepreneurial Lecture at Yaba College of Technology in Lagos.

On 1st April 2013, Tayo (who reads, write and speaks the French language) relocated to Cotonou, Benin Republic to begin slowly traveling across the West African region.

His key purpose is to deliver talks, seminars and workshops on his key areas of focus and interest to interested audiences (Email tayo at tksola dot com for details).

In a previous life, before leaving to become self-employed, Tayo served for seven years (October 1994 to December 2001) as a high performing manager in Guinness Nigeria. He rose from Shift Brewer to Training & Technical Development Manager, and later acted in senior roles as Production Manager and Technical Manager.

In addition to constantly challenging the status quo and influencing positive work changes, he built a reputation for using self-taught spreadsheet programming skills (starting with Lotus 1-2-3, and later moving to Excel Visual Basic) – in his spare time – to develop Automated Spreadsheet Applications to computerize manual report generation processes in the departments he worked. Over four(4) of his applications were adopted for brewery level reporting.

Tayo holds a B.Sc degree in Agricultural Extension Services from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, having graduated top of his class – with Second Class Upper Division honors – in 1992. He is an Associate Member of the UK Institute & Guild of Brewing, a 1997 National Finalist of the Nigerian Institute of Management’s(NIM) Young Managers’ competition, a Certified Psychometric Test Administrator for Psytech UK, innovator of Spontaneous Coaching for Self-Development™ (SCfS-D™), and Founder of the Self-Development Academy (SDAc).

When he’s not amazing clients with his superhuman skills (wink), Tayo works as the creative force behind his Daily Self-Development Nuggets blog – on which he also publishes The Farm CEO Weekly Newspaper (sent via email to paid subscribers) and his Weekly Performance Improvement IDEAS newsletter.

You can connect with him on Twitter @tksola.com and Facebook.

Visit Tayo Solagbade Dot Com, to download over over 10 performance improvement resources to boost your personal and work related productivity.

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[IMPORTANT NOTE:====

On 4th May 2014, Tayo’s 9 year old domain (Spontaneousdevelopment dot com), which hosted his website, was taken over by Aplus.net.

Within a few days however, Tayo used his advanced self-taught web development skills to build a SUPERIOR “reincarnation” of it the website http://www.tayosolagbade.com.

But updates are still ongoing to URLs bearing the old domain name in most of the over 1,000 web pages, and blog posts

he’s published.

If you experience any difficulties finding a page or document, email Tayo at tksola dot com.

Click “Tayo, What Happened to

SpontaneousDevelopmentDotCom ?” to read a detailed narrative about how the above event occurred :-))

Here’s an article Tayo wrote, to inspire others to defy adversity, and bounce back to even greater reckoning at what they do EVERY time:

Succeed by Emerging from Adversity Like a Phoenix

(TayoSolagbade.com launches extra Hosting plan with FREE Web Marketing!)

And he wrote the one below, to explain why losing a domain name, no matter how old, NO LONGER determines your online success or otherwise:

A Proven Strategy to Find Profitable Buyers Regardless of Your Domain Name
==================

View Tayo Solagbade's video tutorials and demonstrations on Facebook Productivity Tips, Web Marketing, and for his Custom MS Excel-VB driven software applicationsJoin the SD Nuggets community on Facebook.comConnect with Tayo on Twitter.comConnect with Tayo on Google PlusConnect with Tayo on LinkedIn.com

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